Five things you need to know about The Lone Ranger (2013.) 

I’m a little late to the game on this one but I have only recently seen one of Disney’s live action installments and frankly… I’m not even sure why I put this film on. I’m quite behind in keeping up with a lot of Disney films at the moment – Moana, the new Pirates of the Caribbean etc. But I love Disney and I love the way that they so effortlessly story-tell. So, this is my list of things you need to know:

  1. It’s a very typical cowboy film.

Nothing really stands out for me in this film aside from the fact that Johnny Depp is in it. To be honest, this is one of the only reasons that I did watch it in the first place – when I saw the trailer, I wasn’t overwhelmed with the need to see it for the exact same reason that it just looked like a normal cowboy film.

2. It’s definitely not a film you want to watch with your children.

I know that Disney can sometimes delve into the darker side of life and society but I was quite shocked at how grisly this film was. Parts of it really reminded me of Django which is obviously a Quentin Violentino film and it is also an 18. I put it on for something easy and adventurous to watch after work but that wasn’t what I received. My mum was especially shocked by how violent it was for a 12. Especially when the villain eats someone’s heart clean out of his chest? Spoiler alert but gross? So gross?

3. Johnny Depp plays Native American Jack Sparrow.

I’m never quite sure where I stand with Johnny Depp… Especially with all the recent controversy that has come out about him. Even though it is so clear that he is an incredibly versatile actor, I can’t state a performance aside from Jack Sparrow that I’ve thought that he was amazing at. I’ve seen him in a lot but his acting has never been earth-shattering even though he is a household name. The slightly clumsy, slightly dangerous and who’s-side-is-he-on-anyway nature of Tonto’s character easily reminds you of Jack Sparrow. Tonto’s character isn’t anything much deeper than a comic relief one however hard the writers and Johnny try.

4. It’s the first time I’ve seen Armie Hammer in anything.

If you’d have said the same to me, I wouldn’t have known him from Larry. Aside from the fact that he’s gorgeous, I was really charmed by his performance in this otherwise average film. Even though it was a little overbearing in places, he was so funny and charismatic that you couldn’t help but look forward to the moments when he was next on screen.

5. I honestly can’t tell you the plot.

I only watched it about a week ago and the plot was so easily forgettable to me. But I think this is for the sole reason that they didn’t really have a concise narrative that held any meaning. The film starts with an older Tonto describing the ‘masked man’ that he had once known and then begins to describe their adventures which are seemingly many that don’t really have a connection. I know that there is some underlying story about the train tracks being built and Tonto selling out the rest of his family and Armie trying to prove himself as a noble man like his brother but all of them had no cohesion. Oh, and there’s a cannibal. Forgot that part.

What did you guys think?

Morgie out.

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